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First steps to emotional maturity

Updated: Jan 6, 2022

There is a prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr that goes: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Most have heard this prayer however never took the time to reflect deeper. This prayer is beneficial when you find yourself disturbed by what someone else does or says. The truth is you cannot control what anyone does! You can only manage how to react. So it's to your disadvantage when you allow others to cause you to lash out unpleasantly. Even though you may be right, and they may be wrong emotionally intelligent individuals know to ignore it. Every piece of information is energy vibrating and therefore admitting a signal. Every stream of thought, words, and conversations, a series of actions toward the desired outcome, and all that you do are energy in motion. Emotions are merely moving information, and you can choose to block information from entering into your 'Auric'[1] field. Every word you say in anger works against you. Maybe you think you're teaching someone a lesson or you're even helping but none of it is worth feeling disturbing emotions. I'm not saying one can't get angry but rather than lashing out in negative emotions ask yourself some questions. Maybe you can't do it while you're in the situation but after you calmed down to take a moment to reflect. Like, why do I feel so mad, what would I instead want to experience, how is this beneficial to my well-being, what can I do differently next time, am I in control of myself, and so on. By doing so, you rewire your brain for more self-control. Children know it too well and do everything to get their attention. Even if it means they'll get in trouble since negative attention is better than no attention. So next time someone takes your right of way just let it go! Don't hold your breath because someone else is being a jerk. Just breathe and say to yourself, my well-being is more important than being angry about what I can't control nor change. The moment has passed, and it's up to you to make yourself happy so forgive the jerk and yourself for feeling the way you do and move on with your day. Each time you do you will become more peaceful and gain emotional strength. Another way to grow more peaceful by allowing and accepting is through our children. How many parents try to control the behavior of their children and shame and them in the process just because they feel like they're being judged harshly by others?! It happens every day! Is being judged by others more important than the happiness and sanity of the child? Of course not! However, many allow it to happen. We observe that people are annoyed and stressed out because the child is in need to release energy. We want him/her to sit down and be quiet while we are dining at a fancy restaurant, during a ceremony, or at the doctor's office, and so on. Some parents have realized that trying to control the child isn't the best solution. We either damage them and cause them to disconnect from their inner being (soul or god-self) because we want things the way we're happy and not what's best for them. Alternatively, we cause them to act out in even more significant ways. Is it fair to them or in the long run to us? Why not generate a better flow? Like making sure the child was able to run and play before going out for dinner or creating a game to keep the child busy or packing some toys for them to play with. In no way would I suggest putting the child in front of a screen and parking them in idle mode since that will strip them of their creativity and make simple things harder to entertain. So by allowing them to be who they are we create happy creative and emotionally healthy children. In no way am I saying that we should put them in danger or ignore the fact that children need guidance, but take a more allowing approach. We do not own our children, and they should be allowed to be who they are deep within. We all have the birthright of free will, and it isn't fair to take that away from our children. Do we know what's best for them or do we think we know what's best for them? As parents, we can learn and grow if we can give our undivided attention to our children.

[1] Layers of aura; the electromagnetic field surrounding the physical body.


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