Most of us grew up with a reward and punishment system to learn the law of cause and effect. However, some are still stuck in this system in a toxic way and this may put the breaks on manifesting desired outcomes. Do you want to punish yourself or someone for making a mistake or losing self-control? In this case, you also are caught in this toxic trait. Moving out of Guilt can be helpful in this case! Do you reward yourself when you work hard or get something done, just to enforce toxic habits like drinking alcohol or eating lots of sugar? Those aren't rewards, they are excuses to harm your health and wellbeing. Eat sugar or drink your wine because you choose to do it consciously and drop the excuse of having earned it. When someone mistreats you do you blame them and then find satisfaction when they get punished? Let's be clear, these may be necessary in some cases but most of the time it's less helpful! I firmly believe that I am responsible for everything that happens to me and when I go to the level of blame then I am only giving my power away! I create my life experience through my thoughts, words, and emotions so everything that happens to me I have also created. I know many do not agree with this and that is ok for them. But if you take a look at the image of the expanded version of the map of consciousness then you can see where your power is. In some rare situations, like when you need to protect yourself and others, anger is necessary. Yet it is an explosion of energy and one must choose wisely and reflect if it is worth the release of the amount of energy it costs us to express anger. When you're at blame then moving to anger is better than staying in the lower frequencies, yet you want to keep moving. Your thoughts are the tool since your emotions respond to your thoughts. Of course, this map is based on Davis Hawkins's emotional frequencies and his research which may be slightly different for each person but I feel this is a very valuable map to use for clarity when you're experiencing various emotions. When you're let's say punishing a child to teach them cause and effect then it is helpful to know which level you're interacting from. When in love or compassion then your tone words and actions to teach cause and effect will be much different than from the level of anger or blame. When you're in 'force' then it can cause more damage than be valuable for the child's future. Kneejerk reactions only imply that you're powerless and losing control over your emotional state. This is why some people are vengeful, hold grudges, and take satisfaction from the other person being punished or otherwise disadvantaged. You may be a good person at heart yet patterns as such may have been instilled in you when you were a child. You could be oblivious and unaware that you have this pattern so self-reflection is helpful! This process is also called shadow work. What bothers you in others reveals an unhealed part of you. Since 70-80% of your mind is unconscious you may need to meditate, journal, or consciously observe your thought processes and emotions more carefully. Slowing down helps to reflect and become more aware. Thinking means looking at a situation from different perspectives yet many still fail to do this due to their feeling of righteousness for someone else's punishment. But if you just try a different approach and take responsibility for what shows up in your life experience then you can keep your power and change unwanted patterns. The first step is to move out of denial and take a serious honest look at yourself. Your patterns may have been instilled by your parents and teachers when you were a child but you are responsible for creating more useful patterns now and shedding dysfunctional ones until you become the person you want to be. Until then you also will be caught in situations where YOU are being punished and sometimes even in an unfair manner.